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How to Have More Brain Energy and Less Stress

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on September 7th, 2010 View Comments

Do you leap out of bed every morning full of energy and enthusiasm? Do you go home at the end of the day full of energy and enthusiasm? Would you like to remember what it’s like to have energy and enthusiasm?

The successful business person needs lots of Energy!
You need Brain Energy and you need Body Energy. However as with any other kind of energy, it’s constantly being drained away and needs replacing.
Dealing with people, your customers and your team, can both drain your brain and your body – and you probably don’t need me to tell you that.

But for the moment, let’s look at Brain Energy.

Imagine that you receive a call or an email from your boss saying – “Could you come in and see me, I need a word with you.”

If you react to that with – “Oh no! What does he want, what’s wrong now? What have I done?” That sort of reaction drains your brain of energy and gives you stress.

Successful business people don’t react – they think!

Reacting drains the brain – thinking, less so.

Get the thinking bit working and say to yourself – “I’ll phone him now; I’ll speak to him and see what he wants. If it’s about the poor business results, then what information do I need to make my case? Perhaps he wants to talk about that vacant manager’s position that I could fill.”

Whatever you’re thinking – stop the negative stuff – it’ll kill you!

If one of your colleagues comes to you with a problem or you receive a complaint from a customer; don’t react!
Start thinking – “Let’s see what I can do about this.”

Do not, and I repeat – Do not say – “Oh no! What am I going to do now?” Every time you say – “Oh no!” Your brain has a huge drain of energy, and that leads to stress!

People will tell you that there’s good stress and bad stress. I’m talking about bad stress, and it occurs when your brain is drained of energy. Some business people seem to believe that it ‘goes with the territory’ and some even wear it as a ‘badge of honour’ telling you how stressed they are all the time.

They also believe that it can’t be avoided; it’s part of being in business and the world we live in. Organisations do have a responsibility to minimise levels of stress in their workforce, but we have a responsibility for ourselves.

It’s very important to minimise your levels of stress and you can do that by thinking rather than reacting. Challenge your inbuilt programs, stop saying – “That makes me really mad” or “That really gets on my nerves.”

Start saying – “This is something I have to deal with, and I’ll deal with it” – You have the choice.

I know your probably thinking (or is it reacting) – “That’s all very well Alan, but its hard sometimes not to get stressed.”
You’re absolutely right however; let me give you some more reasons why you need to work at minimising it.

Stress can cause heart disease, sleeplessness, sexual problems, overeating, drinking too much, loss of concentration and stomach upsets.
Research is now telling us that many, if not most of our illnesses can be related to stress.

When we get stressed, a chemical is released into our bloodstream called Cortisol, sometimes known as the Stress Hormone. High levels of Cortisol can lead to diabetes and skin problems.
There is also a suggestion that Cortisol attacks our immune system and leaves us vulnerable to many of the bugs and viruses that come along. This also includes cancer.
So if you’ve ever suffered from skin complaints or perhaps too many colds, it could very well be the results of stress.

I don’t want to scare you death, or give you any more stress, I just want you to – think!

If you want to listen to this article or download it to your MP3 player, please click here

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Posted in Customer service, Difficult people, Motivation

There Is No Try

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on August 20th, 2010 View Comments

Just imagine for a moment that the weather has been really good and you decide to have barbecue this weekend.

You phone all your friends to invite them over, and one of them says, “We have a couple of things to do that day, but we’ll try and come.”

What does that statement mean to you? When I put this scenario to a group of seminar participants, the majority come back with, “Your friend’s not coming!” Some people think the friend might turn up, and the others have no idea.

If you use the word ‘try’ to another person, the majority tend to hear it as a negative. “I’ll try to get this in the post tonight” means “You probably wont” “I’ll try and phone you tomorrow” means “You won’t”
Of course, it all depends on your relationship with the other person and perhaps their tone of voice and their body language, but I repeat; the majority of people hear the word ‘try’ as a negative.

So ‘try’ is a word to avoid whether you’re dealing with a customer, a colleague or a member of your staff. It can be replaced with something more honest such as – “This is what I can do” or “This is what I’m unable to do”

Instead of saying; “I’ll try and do this for you today” Why not say; “I’d like to think I could do this for you today, but I will do it for you tomorrow morning.”

You could even be more direct and say; “I’m unable to do this for you today, but I’ll be pleased to do it tomorrow morning.”

Customers, staff and all other people would rather know where they stand rather than hear the ‘wishy-washy’ ‘try’ word.

“Do, or do not. There is no ‘try’ - Yoda (from Star Wars)

To listen or download to your MP3 player, please click this link: There is No Try

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Posted in Customer service, Leadership, Management, Motivation

Difficult People Just Have a Different Programme

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on July 2nd, 2010 View Comments

Have you been late for anything or anyone today, or are you one of these people who is always on time?

In any interaction between people, there will always be:

The way they see it – The way you see it – The way it is.

Take the example of Dave who usually arrives about 10-15 minutes late for a meeting.

The way he sees it is - ‘We’re supposed to meet at 8 and I’m here just after that. I don’t suppose anyone expects me to be here dead on 8 o’clock.’

If you’re an on time person then:

The way you see it is – ‘Dave is so selfish, he just shows up whenever it suits him. I’ve been here since 7.45 so that we can start at 8 o’clock; he has no respect for me or any of his colleagues.’

The way it is – Dave arrived at 8.12am

Your programming tells you that people should show up early or dead on time for a meeting. Dave’s programming, tells him that; ‘It’s only a meeting, it’ll be boring anyway, so we’ll try to have a laugh, and I’ll get there when I get there!’

I’m the person who always turns up early for an appointment, be it business or pleasure. I have friends who are like me, and always turn up on time; and I have other friends who arrive just when they’re ready. At one time I might have allowed this to annoy me; but now I try to think rather than react. I realise that this is the way these friends are, and in no way does it make them any less of a friend.

Let’s pick on Dave again; he might say to a customer – ‘I’ll phone you back in a couple of minutes.’ He may intend to phone them back when he has all the information. That could be within ten minutes, thirty minutes, one hour or the next two hours. The other person on hearing that Dave is going to phone back in a couple of minutes, may sit by the phone waiting for it to ring. When it doesn’t, they phone back, in a negative frame of mind, and then Dave has a difficult person to deal with.

Personal relationships often come to grief because of this inability to see it the way the other person does. A man may stop for a drink with his friends after work and phone his wife to say that he will be home later. She translates later as perhaps 8 to 9 pm. But he believes later is – ‘you’ll see me when you see me;’ guess what happens?

We are all very different. How often have you been to a play or a movie and thoroughly enjoyed it; however, the person you were with, didn’t enjoy it at all. You think – ‘What’s wrong with them; they must be stupid, or perhaps they’re just being difficult.’

When someone doesn’t see things the way you do, there is potential for you to get stressed and collect negative feelings. What then happens is; you dump these negative feelings on the other person, and then you have a difficult situation. The way to avoid these negative feelings is to:

  • Accept people the way they are
  • Decide not to react to other people’s behaviour
  • Be responsible for your own feelings
  • Change you expectations
  • Ask for help when you need it
  • Think before you communicate

Some food for thought; next time you have to deal with a difficult person, remember, they may just be running a different programme from you.

If you want to listen to this article or download it to your MP3 player, please click here

Posted in Difficult people, Leadership, Management, Motivation

Fabio Capello Should Have Read This Book

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on July 1st, 2010 View Comments

Have you ever heard a manager say – “I don’t care if my staff like me or not as long as they respect me.” – What a load of baloney!

It doesn’t matter if you are in business or in sport. If you want a highly motivated team who produce results, then it makes a truckload of difference if they like you!

I’ve been reading reports about the football teams in the World Cup and the relationships with their manager.
Before England was so decidedly beaten by Germany, and in the build up to the Algeria game, one newspaper reported – “the squad have grown sick and tired of Capello’s off-hand attitude. One senior player complained that the Italian had walked past him in the team hotel without even saying hello.”

Now that may or may not be true, but other reports suggest that Capello may be respected by the team, but they certainly don’t seem to like him.

Phil Neville the Everton, England and ex Manchester United footballer once    commented – “If the players like you, then that decides ninety-five percent of your success as a manager.”

If you read my article ‘What Makes Good Managers Good’ you’ll see that successful managers such as Sir Alex Ferguson and Jose Mourinho are very much liked by their team members.

That human connection is what separates the respected managers from the highly successful and liked ones!

‘How to be a Motivational Manager’ is available for all football mangers and anyone else who wants a successful team

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Posted in Leadership, Management, Motivation

5 Benefits of Positive Feedback

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on June 29th, 2010 View Comments

Do you remember how you felt after your last interaction with another person either on the phone or face to face? That person – it could have been a customer, a colleague, a salesperson, a friend or even a member of your family.

  • Did they make you feel good, uplifted and more positive?

Or

  • Did they leave you feeling neutral?

Or

  • Did they make you feel down and more negative?

Unfortunately, most of us have grown up in a negative culture where it’s much easier to tell people what they did wrong rather than praising them when they succeed.

Research in the United States found that 65% of employees received no recognition for good work in the past year.  Similar research in other countries of the world shows comparable results.
Other research has shown that the number one reason people leave their job, and customers take their business elsewhere, is that they don’t feel appreciated.
And if you think about it; many people leave their partners for the very same reason!

If customer’s leave an interaction with you or one of your team feeling better than they did before, then they’re much more likely to:

  • Come back
  • Recommend you to other people
  • Spend more with you.

If one of your team feels better after an interaction with you then they’re much more likely to pass that feeling onto a customer.

“The way you treat your staff is the way they’ll treat your customers” – Karl Albrecht

If you give five positive comments to one negative comment to the other people in your life, then you’ll have:

  1. More happy customers
  2. A workplace that’s more productive and more fun
  3. More friends
  4. Better relationships
  5. A healthier, happier and longer life

Remember – “Hand out warm glows, not dampeners.”

To listen to this post, please click -  The Benefits of Positive Feedback

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Posted in Customer service, Difficult people, Leadership, Management, Motivation, Sales

How to Manage Difficult People Book Review

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on June 24th, 2010 View Comments

Book review taken from BuilderJobs magazine:

“The author worked as a manager in sales and customer service for 15 years, so he should know a thing or two about dealing with difficult people, and his practical expertise certainly shows. This book is stuffed with sound advice, although Fairweather can be a trifle self-indulgent at times. Covers all the bases, from identifying difficult people to developing strategies for success.”

I wonder what the reviewer means by ‘self-indulgent’!?

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What Makes Good Managers Good?

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on June 24th, 2010 View Comments

“How do I motivate my team?” That’s the question, I’m most often asked by frustrated managers. They want some instant fix, a ‘magic bullet’ that improves team motivation overnight. But as we all know, life isn’t like that.

I understand and appreciate why this question is being asked, I was a manager for fifteen years, I’ve felt the pain, and I understand the challenges managers face every day with their people.

The answer is – “You don’t motivate your team, you create the environment where they motivate themselves.”

Effective motivation is intrinsic, it has to come ‘from within’. There is no instant fix; it’s an ongoing day to day process of small actions that build a highly motivated team. It’s like pushing a heavy boulder, you need some initial effort to get the process going, but once you’ve done that, it takes a lot less effort to keep it moving.

There is no point in a football manager having a shouting session in the locker room at half time; at best, that’s only a short term fix.

So how do the good managers create this motivation environment?

I’ve spent years studying successful managers whether they were in business or in sport, trying to establish what makes the good guys good. I also thought about the managers that I worked for, and the ones I respected. And I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that these managers and coaches know:

  1. How to do all the business parts of the job
  2. How to do all the human parts of the job

A manager can have a certain level of success if they’re good at the business part of the job, but not so good at the human part. Some managers can go through their whole career by being competent in all the business and technical aspects of the job.

But to be a really successful Manager, and build a self-motivating team, you need to be good at the human part of the job.

Now you’re probably starting to feel a bit uncomfortable about all this ‘human, touchy feely’ stuff, and you’re not alone, many managers feel the same way. They’re terrified of being seen as a soft touch. But if you want to be successful; get over it guys n gals!

Let me give you some examples of what has been said about successful football managers.

I read a newspaper report about the Manchester United soccer player, Wayne Rooney and his relationship with his manager Sir Alex Ferguson.
In Rooney’s words – “Sir Alex is a hard manager and a tough manager, but he also gets on well with the players. The players can talk to him and that’s important. That’s all you need in a manager, to know you can trust him and turn to him when you have problems.”

Jose Mourinho, the new manager of Real Madrid, is the World’s highest paid football manager. In an interview for Men’s Health magazine, he was asked what quality was most important in contributing to his success as a manager. “I think its love,” he replied. “Love comes first, and because of love, other things arrive. I think without my love for my wife and for my kids, I wouldn’t be the manager I am. I think life is about that.”

Mourinho’s love extends beyond his family: his love applies to his players as well; Mourinho speaks of them like favourite sons. He has undoubted love for them, as they, quite obviously, have for him.

Now I know what you’re thinking – do I have to tell the people in my team that I love them, should I buy them presents? Somehow I don’t think so!
However you do need to:

  • Spend some quality time with each of them
  • Listen to them and really get to know them
  • Coach them on the job, and help them find solutions to job related or personal problems
  • Find ways to make their job more interesting
  • Show that you appreciate them and have some fun
  • Let them know what’s happening in the organisation
  • Trust and believe in them, don’t keep ‘supervising’

You have to do, say or demonstrate behaviour to your team members that lets them know you care about them.

That’s what makes the good managers good, and if you want to join them, the question is: -

Are you tough enough to care?

Posted in Leadership, Management, Motivation

Handling Difficult People – Procurement Asia Magazine

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on June 22nd, 2010 View Comments

If you have any difficulty reading this, please let me know and I’ll send the original article.

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Managing Difficult People – Don’t Let Pet Peeves Hook You

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on June 8th, 2010 View Comments

Do you have any pet peeves that annoy you about other people?

When I’m running a Managing Difficult People seminar, I ask the participants to make a list of pet peeves that they have about other people, either in their business or personal life.

Some of the participants are reluctant to admit their pet peeves. They believe they shouldn’t have any, or they’re too embarrassed to admit to them. With a bit of encouragement from me, and some of the more outspoken members of the group, we eventually end up with a huge list on the flip chart.

People will talk about things that irritate them about other people, and drive them crazy. Things they disapprove of, find embarrassing, or just don’t like. Here are some of the pet peeves I’ve heard from seminar participants:

Speaking with your mouth full
Bad breath
Body odour
Not saying please or thank you
General bad manners
Answering a mobile phone in the middle of a conversation
Squeezing the toothpaste from the wrong end
Putting a toilet roll on the holder the wrong way around
Untidiness
Bad timekeeping
Smoking
Obesity
Drunkenness
Not looking you in the eye
Slurping food or drink
Not listening
Loud music
Loud people

As you will see, the list goes on and on.

Once we have all these pet peeves on our flip chart, I then ask the group to vote on each one. In a group of, let’s say, 20 people; 12 people might say ‘speaking with your mouth full’ is a pet peeve for them. Another 6 people might say ‘untidiness’ is a peeve for them.

What comes out of this, as you will see, is that not all of us have the same pet peeves. If you consistently arrive late, this can drive some people crazy, while others don’t really care if you’re late or not.

You develop these pet peeves based on how you were brought up; how you were programmed. You probably learned them from your parents and all the other people you grew up with.

When I was a child, I was never allowed to waste food. I had to eat everything that was on my plate before I could leave the table. This programming is so strong, that as an adult I admit to being a bit peeved by people who pick at their food and leave lots on the plate without eating it.

When we interact with other people it is highly possible that we allow our pet peeves to influence that interaction.

I was running a seminar for some bank employees and several of them stated the same pet peeve. They hate when a customer answers their mobile phone in the middle of a transaction or a conversation. Because the bank employee finds this behaviour annoying, it could potentially affect how he or she deals with the customer.

The staff member’s annoyance, albeit slight, may be transmitted to a customer by tone of voice or body language. It is then possible that the customer may become difficult. Any customer’s behaviour, which is a pet peeve for you, may hook you into negative behaviour, and that will potentially cause problems.

The other aspect of this is; we all have pet peeves, however, what may be a pet peeve for you may not be for the other person. You may think that being a bit late with your report is not such a big deal; but the other person does, and that, potentially, causes them to be difficult.

Some food for thought!

If you want to listen to this article or download it to your MP3 player; please click here.

Posted in Customer service, Difficult people, Leadership, Management, Motivation

6 Things You Must Know About Handling Resistance

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on June 3rd, 2010 View Comments

Do you ever meet with resistance from other people – I bet you do! It might be a customer, a colleague, a member of your team or even someone in your personal life. Dealing with resistance is one of the biggest challenges faced by business people; so let’s consider why we get resistance and how we can handle it.

I’m going to talk a bit about customers and sales but the same rules apply whether it’s a colleague or someone in your personal life.

Well there’s good news and bad news – first the good news. When someone says – “I don’t agree with you” or “I can’t accept what you say” or “You’re too expensive” or “We already deal with someone else,” then they may not be telling the truth.

The bad news is – most of them won’t accept what you say, or buy what you’re selling anyway. But don’t cut your wrists just yet because, there’s more good news.
If you can find out exactly what the other person means when they say – “No” then you have a much better chance of improving your success rate, getting more sales and more agreement.

What you need to realise is that, there is no smart answer to the other person’s resistance. People are always looking for the ‘things to say’ that’ll deal with resistance. How can you possibly have an answer if the other person isn’t telling the truth is the first place?

Many sales people believe the customer when they say – “You’re too expensive.” They then start offering discounts or walk away from the sale, complaining that their product or service isn’t competitive enough.

So why do people say “No”

Well I don’t want you to burst into tears but the First and most important reason is that – they may not like you! That doesn’t mean that they dislike you, it just means that they don’t know you, and they haven’t built any trust or a relationship with you.
So firstly – get them to like you, sell yourself, be trustworthy, don’t talk too much, be a great listener, smile, be friendly.

If you want to be intresting, then be intrested!

The Second reason people say “no” could be that they haven’t understood what on earth you’re talking about. Maybe you haven’t spoken clearly enough, or you’ve used too many technical terms or jargon. This can make you seem like a real ‘smarty pants,’ and that takes us back to our First reason.
The answer should be simple enough; use language the other person can understand and keep checking by asking questions.

The Third reason may be that the person wasn’t listening. They might have been distracted by something or somebody; perhaps your big bright eyes, or the fact that they’re tired, hot and need a comfort break.
The trick is to keep checking: “Did you understand that last bit, John or did I make it confusing?”

Fourthly, they may not be the right person. The person you’re speaking with may be telling you – “I’m not able to give you an answer at this time” or “We have another supplier” or “I’d like to think about this.”
However, they may not be the decision maker. To make sure you’re speaking to the right person, be brave and ask the question – “Is it you who’ll make the final decision or do I need to speak to someone else?”

The Fifth reason could be that they don’t like change.
Sometimes our staff, our potential customers, or even our friends, like to stay in their comfort zone and they don’t want you telling them they have to change their way of doing things. Even although they could possibly save money, or make their life easier; people are generally reluctant to change.

It’s therefore important to outweigh the other person’s reluctance by emphasising the benefits of what you’re suggesting, or the benefits of your product or service.

Also, keep selling yourself and appeal to the person’s emotional side, don’t be too logical. Always remember that human beings will almost always allow their hearts to rule their heads when buying something or making a decision to change.

So appeal to their emotions; keep telling them how much better they’ll feel (not necessarily using these words) when they accept what you’re saying! How good they’ll look or how others will feel about them.

Lastly, it may just be that the other person genuinely doesn’t want, or need, or have the money for what you’re proposing

The only way to find out which of these Six points is the truth, is to keep asking questions, listen carefully to the other person and watch their body language.

If you’re in sales; always remember that – “You’re too expensive” could mean. – “I haven’t understood a word you’ve said” or “I’m going on holiday tomorrow” or “My son-in-law works for your competitor.”

When someone resists what you say, make sure you know what they really mean before you deal with it.

If you want to listen to this article or download it to you MP3 player; please click here

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