Tips and Techniques to Apply for a Healthy and Productive Workplace

Posts Tagged ‘Belief’

Managing Difficult People – Don’t Let Pet Peeves Hook You

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Do you have any pet peeves that annoy you about other people?

When I’m running a Managing Difficult People seminar, I ask the participants to make a list of pet peeves that they have about other people, either in their business or personal life.

Some of the participants are reluctant to admit their pet peeves. They believe they shouldn’t have any, or they’re too embarrassed to admit to them. With a bit of encouragement from me, and some of the more outspoken members of the group, we eventually end up with a huge list on the flip chart.

People will talk about things that irritate them about other people, and drive them crazy. Things they disapprove of, find embarrassing, or just don’t like. Here are some of the pet peeves I’ve heard from seminar participants:

Speaking with your mouth full
Bad breath
Body odour
Not saying please or thank you
General bad manners
Answering a mobile phone in the middle of a conversation
Squeezing the toothpaste from the wrong end
Putting a toilet roll on the holder the wrong way around
Untidiness
Bad timekeeping
Smoking
Obesity
Drunkenness
Not looking you in the eye
Slurping food or drink
Not listening
Loud music
Loud people

As you will see, the list goes on and on.

Once we have all these pet peeves on our flip chart, I then ask the group to vote on each one. In a group of, let’s say, 20 people; 12 people might say ‘speaking with your mouth full’ is a pet peeve for them. Another 6 people might say ‘untidiness’ is a peeve for them.

What comes out of this, as you will see, is that not all of us have the same pet peeves. If you consistently arrive late, this can drive some people crazy, while others don’t really care if you’re late or not.

You develop these pet peeves based on how you were brought up; how you were programmed. You probably learned them from your parents and all the other people you grew up with.

When I was a child, I was never allowed to waste food. I had to eat everything that was on my plate before I could leave the table. This programming is so strong, that as an adult I admit to being a bit peeved by people who pick at their food and leave lots on the plate without eating it.

When we interact with other people it is highly possible that we allow our pet peeves to influence that interaction.

I was running a seminar for some bank employees and several of them stated the same pet peeve. They hate when a customer answers their mobile phone in the middle of a transaction or a conversation. Because the bank employee finds this behaviour annoying, it could potentially affect how he or she deals with the customer.

The staff member’s annoyance, albeit slight, may be transmitted to a customer by tone of voice or body language. It is then possible that the customer may become difficult. Any customer’s behaviour, which is a pet peeve for you, may hook you into negative behaviour, and that will potentially cause problems.

The other aspect of this is; we all have pet peeves, however, what may be a pet peeve for you may not be for the other person. You may think that being a bit late with your report is not such a big deal; but the other person does, and that, potentially, causes them to be difficult.

Some food for thought!

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3 Tips For Self-Motivation

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If you’re like me, then you probably feel a bit a bit down and a bit de-motivated from time to time. It’s a normal human reaction; it’s allowed and it’s often caused by a lack of confidence.

I usually find it’s because I’m focussing on what I want to achieve and neglecting what I already have achieved. So here are three tips that work for me:

Focus on the positive things in your life – the things you can do – not the things you can’t!

Think about what you’ve achieved in the past – not what you haven’t!

Look at where you’re going – not where you’ve been!

And in the words of Abraham Lincoln:

“Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be”

I read this quote some years ago and I know some people have a problem with it.  We all face difficult situations in our lives and some people more than others. However, I’ve made up my mind to be as happy as I can and I recommend you do the same.

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Forget Goal Setting – Just Do It!

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Did you make any New Year resolutions at the start of this year? If you did, then they were probably about what you wanted to achieve in 2010?
If you read any self-help or how to books, then they probably suggested that you need to set goals. I’ve even advocated goal setting myself in the past.
You write down your goals and detail them for family life, friends, finances, career, recreation, health, learning, education and even your spiritual life.There’s loads of information on the internet about how to set goals, books you can buy, planning diaries and even downloadable software.

Now I’m not knocking all that stuff, however I’ve now come to the conclusion that successful people with strong self-belief don’t do goal setting in this way – why?

Because their too busy doing what they need to do, to get what they want to get.

Successful people don’t spend too much time writing down what they want out of life they just get on and do it.

To be successful at whatever it is you want to do, you need to ask yourself – “What do I really want to achieve?” What are my dreams and desires, what do I want to build, or create and what sort of person do I want to be.

You need to clearly identify what it is you want out of life, what do you hunger and thirst for?
If someone held your head under water you’d quickly realise what you wanted – oxygen! You need to feel like this to be successful.

Most of us experience this feeling when we fall in love. We do almost anything to impress and be with the person of our dreams.
This is how people create success, it’s how new countries were discovered, products were invented, Everest was conquered and man walked on the moon.

Now you may not want to achieve something so dramatic, you may want to have a successful plumbing business, or be an excellent accountant, or even run a marathon. Whatever it is, once you identify and focus on it you’ll release the motivation to make it happen.

There is an often-told story of the swimmer, Florence Chadwick. On her first attempt to swim the English Channel she encountered huge waves and chilling temperature. Her trainers were alongside her in a boat. They had greased her body to provide protection from the cold and gave her hot soup from a vacuum flask. She had everything going for her to ensure she was successful.

However a heavy fog set in and as the fog descended, her vision was limited to only a few feet. The water seemed to get colder, the waves higher and she started suffering from cramp in her arms and legs. She eventually gave up her effort and asked her trainers to take her on board the boat. What she didn’t realise was that she was only a short distance from the shore. When the reporters asked her why she’d given up when she was such a short distance form the shore. Her answer was quite simple – “I lost sight of what I wanted to achieve. I’m not sure that I had it firmly in my mind.”

You need to have a clear mental picture of where you want to go. You need to visualise yourself being successful and work towards it, you then have a far better chance of achieving what you want to achieve.

Think about what you’re doing every day and ask yourself – “Is what I’m doing now getting me to where I want to get to?”

If the answer is “No” then do something different. Get out of your comfort zone and change your habits.

The psychologist Abraham Maslow said - “If you deliberately plan to be less than you are capable of being; then I warn you that you will be unhappy for the rest of your life. You will be evading your own capabilities, your own possibilities.”

And case your wondering about Florence Chadwick – she did become the first woman to swim the English Channel on the 8th August 1950. It took her 13 hours 25 minutes and I bet her arms were tired!

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Team Motivation Needs Trust

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Do you trust and believe in your staff? Successful Motivational Managers have the ‘trust programme’ well and truly installed in their brain.

Old style managers were programmed to believe that they couldn’t trust their people. That doesn’t mean they thought they were dishonest, just that they needed to constantly supervise their people to ensure they did the job properly. Sadly, many managers still see it that way today.

The Motivational Manager thinks the opposite, he or she believes and trusts their people to do the job and let’s them get on with it.

If you’ve got the old program, as I once did, then be prepared to change it. Because if your team members believe that you trust them to do the job, then it will have a huge positive effect on morale and on you achieving your outcomes.

Managers keep asking me – “How do I motivate my staff?” And the answer is – “You don’t motivate your staff; you create the environment in which they motivate themselves.”

Trusting your people to do their job goes a long way towards creating that environment.

Trust is the lubrication that makes it possible for organizations to work.
Warren G. Bennis (1925-, American psychologist, management educator, and consultant)

Do you trust your team; let me know your thoughts

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You Can’t Make People What They’re Not

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Do you have people on your team who are not performing to your satisfaction? I reckon you probably do; and I believe that too many managers are spending too much time trying to change people. They seem to believe that if they train people, tell them what to do or threaten them with the sack, then they can get them to change.

The Motivational Manager concentrates on developing the strengths of his team members – not trying to correct their weaknesses. Sometimes you have to manage around a weakness but you can’t make people what they’re not.

Some years ago I decided to improve my golf by taking some lessons. A friend and I spent some hours with a professional golfer at a local country club. This was really useful to me and I did get better. However my friend Norman hadn’t a clue. No matter what the pro told him to do, how to change his stance and his grip, he could hardly hit the ball. If you’d given Norman a hundred lessons and threatened him with a gun, I doubt if he’d ever have completed a round of golf in less than two days. Robin is a successful lawyer and makes a lot of money, however a golfer – he is not!

So if you have a sales person on your team who isn’t bringing in the sales, or a production engineer who isn’t making his quota then you have to make a decision. Is this person not producing because they don’t have the ability – because they need more training or – because there’s another reason?

It’s important to understand that the individual may not be able to do the job. They may tell you they can do the job because they’re unwilling to accept defeat. However, I’ve known people in sales jobs who shouldn’t be in sales and doctors, plumbers, lawyers and engineers who were also in the wrong job. What you need to do is get people who can’t do the job into a job that they can do or get them out of your team.

I hear you saying – “easier said than done Alan” and you’re right. But the Motivational Manager needs to address these issues for the good of the team and the business. It often takes co-operation from your manager, but that’s a subject for another day.

Let me know your thoughts.

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Successful Managers Believe in Themselves

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Do you have belief in your abilities as a manager?business team - man standing out

Belief is dependent on how we control our mind and the conversations we have with ourselves. Belief in yourself is what drives your motivation and that in turn generates the energy to succeed. A manager who doesn’t have belief in themselves or in what they are doing is going to find life very difficult. Of course it can be challenging to retain a belief in yourself when you’re under pressure from your manager and your team.

Some years ago I was working for a brewery in the UK. (Yes I did get lots of samples to take home) One day my manager, the Director of Sales, handed me a new challenge. The customer service telesales team were doing a mediocre job but had the potential to do much more, as far as bringing in more sales. He told me to sort it out.

I inherited a totally de-motivated team of fourteen telesales agents and a supervisor. Their job was to phone customers in hotels, bars and restaurants and process their orders for beer, wine and other drinks.

John, the distribution manager I was taking over from, briefed me on my new team. “They’re a truculent bunch and they’re always whingeing. There are always two or three of them off sick at any one time, and you’ll never get them to sell promotions.”

As you’ll gather, it took a great deal of self-belief on my part to turn this team around. I was continually hearing from them, and sometimes my manager – “You can’t do that Alan,” or “That’ll never work,” or “We’ve never done it that way before.” I had many discussions with my manager and other senior managers regarding things I wanted to do to improve this team.

I won some battles and I lost a few. However I held onto my belief that I could make this team successful. It took me about six months to start turning things around – but I did it using the skills and techniques that you’ll find in – How to be a Motivational Manager.

It’s tough to hold onto belief in yourself when your manager and your team are telling you about all the things you can’t do but you must get that positive self-talk going and believe in yourself.

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