Motivation Shots from The Doc

Tips and Techniques to Apply for a Healthy and Productive Workplace
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Posts Tagged ‘Communication’

5 Benefits of Positive Feedback

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on June 29th, 2010 View Comments

Do you remember how you felt after your last interaction with another person either on the phone or face to face? That person – it could have been a customer, a colleague, a salesperson, a friend or even a member of your family.

  • Did they make you feel good, uplifted and more positive?

Or

  • Did they leave you feeling neutral?

Or

  • Did they make you feel down and more negative?

Unfortunately, most of us have grown up in a negative culture where it’s much easier to tell people what they did wrong rather than praising them when they succeed.

Research in the United States found that 65% of employees received no recognition for good work in the past year.  Similar research in other countries of the world shows comparable results.
Other research has shown that the number one reason people leave their job, and customers take their business elsewhere, is that they don’t feel appreciated.
And if you think about it; many people leave their partners for the very same reason!

If customer’s leave an interaction with you or one of your team feeling better than they did before, then they’re much more likely to:

  • Come back
  • Recommend you to other people
  • Spend more with you.

If one of your team feels better after an interaction with you then they’re much more likely to pass that feeling onto a customer.

“The way you treat your staff is the way they’ll treat your customers” – Karl Albrecht

If you give five positive comments to one negative comment to the other people in your life, then you’ll have:

  1. More happy customers
  2. A workplace that’s more productive and more fun
  3. More friends
  4. Better relationships
  5. A healthier, happier and longer life

Remember – “Hand out warm glows, not dampeners.”

To listen to this post, please click -  The Benefits of Positive Feedback

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Posted in Customer service, Difficult people, Leadership, Management, Motivation, Sales

How to Manage Difficult People Book Review

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on June 24th, 2010 View Comments

Book review taken from BuilderJobs magazine:

“The author worked as a manager in sales and customer service for 15 years, so he should know a thing or two about dealing with difficult people, and his practical expertise certainly shows. This book is stuffed with sound advice, although Fairweather can be a trifle self-indulgent at times. Covers all the bases, from identifying difficult people to developing strategies for success.”

I wonder what the reviewer means by ‘self-indulgent’!?

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Posted in Difficult people, Leadership, Management, Motivation

Managing Difficult People – Don’t Let Pet Peeves Hook You

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on June 8th, 2010 View Comments

Do you have any pet peeves that annoy you about other people?

When I’m running a Managing Difficult People seminar, I ask the participants to make a list of pet peeves that they have about other people, either in their business or personal life.

Some of the participants are reluctant to admit their pet peeves. They believe they shouldn’t have any, or they’re too embarrassed to admit to them. With a bit of encouragement from me, and some of the more outspoken members of the group, we eventually end up with a huge list on the flip chart.

People will talk about things that irritate them about other people, and drive them crazy. Things they disapprove of, find embarrassing, or just don’t like. Here are some of the pet peeves I’ve heard from seminar participants:

Speaking with your mouth full
Bad breath
Body odour
Not saying please or thank you
General bad manners
Answering a mobile phone in the middle of a conversation
Squeezing the toothpaste from the wrong end
Putting a toilet roll on the holder the wrong way around
Untidiness
Bad timekeeping
Smoking
Obesity
Drunkenness
Not looking you in the eye
Slurping food or drink
Not listening
Loud music
Loud people

As you will see, the list goes on and on.

Once we have all these pet peeves on our flip chart, I then ask the group to vote on each one. In a group of, let’s say, 20 people; 12 people might say ‘speaking with your mouth full’ is a pet peeve for them. Another 6 people might say ‘untidiness’ is a peeve for them.

What comes out of this, as you will see, is that not all of us have the same pet peeves. If you consistently arrive late, this can drive some people crazy, while others don’t really care if you’re late or not.

You develop these pet peeves based on how you were brought up; how you were programmed. You probably learned them from your parents and all the other people you grew up with.

When I was a child, I was never allowed to waste food. I had to eat everything that was on my plate before I could leave the table. This programming is so strong, that as an adult I admit to being a bit peeved by people who pick at their food and leave lots on the plate without eating it.

When we interact with other people it is highly possible that we allow our pet peeves to influence that interaction.

I was running a seminar for some bank employees and several of them stated the same pet peeve. They hate when a customer answers their mobile phone in the middle of a transaction or a conversation. Because the bank employee finds this behaviour annoying, it could potentially affect how he or she deals with the customer.

The staff member’s annoyance, albeit slight, may be transmitted to a customer by tone of voice or body language. It is then possible that the customer may become difficult. Any customer’s behaviour, which is a pet peeve for you, may hook you into negative behaviour, and that will potentially cause problems.

The other aspect of this is; we all have pet peeves, however, what may be a pet peeve for you may not be for the other person. You may think that being a bit late with your report is not such a big deal; but the other person does, and that, potentially, causes them to be difficult.

Some food for thought!

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Posted in Customer service, Difficult people, Leadership, Management, Motivation

How to Lose More Customers

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on May 21st, 2010 View Comments

Have you ever heard people in your organisation saying – “This would be a great business if it wasn’t for the customers?”

Well it’s really easy to get rid of customers, you don’t have to do very much at all; but let me come back to that, I need to have a whinge first!

I recently phoned the manager of the local Virgin Active Gym where I’m a member. He had previously asked me to contact him if I had any concerns about their service.
I politely pointed out that I was less than happy with the way the club kept changing the times of fitness classes, at short notice, and with no concern for what the members want.
He said he’d look into it and get back to me – I never heard a word!

Turnover of members in gyms and health clubs is extremely high. They spend a great deal of time and money trying to recruit new members.
I’m sure you’ve heard that it cost five times as much to find a new customer as it does to hold onto an existing one.

So let’s consider why you lose customers. A survey suggested that customers leave a business for four basic reasons:
1.    14% leave because they’re dissatisfied with the quality of the product or service
2.    9% leave because of price
3.    5% leave for other reasons such as they die, leave the area or have no further need for your product or service
4.   And wait for it – A whacking great 72% leave because of “supplier indifference”

Over the past few months four of my friends have cancelled their membership of the gym. They haven’t given up on their fitness regime they’ve just moved to other gyms, much smaller and more personal.

They just felt that the gym, we were members of, didn’t seem to care whether they were there or not. (Supplier indifference)
The facilities at the gym are good but the communication with the staff could be much improved.

Too many organisations give customers the impression that they don’t care about repeat business. I’ve stayed in hotels, dealt with banks and stores and dealt with many suppliers who didn’t seem to care whether I came back or not.

A member of staff at one budget airline recently told me that if I didn’t like being delayed for two and a half hours then I could always go elsewhere.

We need to continually let our customers know that we care about them. We need to keep in touch, write to them, send them information and occasionally ‘phone them. And we certainly need to call them back when they phone us!

When they contact us we need to make sure we sound warm and friendly, pleased to hear from them, efficient and maybe even look and sound like we’re fun to do business with.

It’s not a lot different from our personal relationships. If we don’t keep telling the people close to us how much we care, or keep writing and ‘phoning, then we shouldn’t be surprised if they leave us one day.

Remember the saying – “When should you tell your partner that you care about them – before somebody else does!”

Use logic and emotion to keep customers. Give them the best products or service and give value for money. However, always remember, your competitors will be doing much the same thing.

The difference will be determined by how you communicate either face to face, on the ‘phone, by letter or email.

Overall, customers just want to feel good. They want to feel better after they’ve dealt with you or anyone in your business, than they did before.

If you can create that feeling, then you’re well on the way to keeping your customers.

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Posted in Customer service, Difficult people, Leadership, Management

Words to Avoid when Managing Difficult People

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on May 14th, 2010 View Comments

You probably realise how the wrong tone of voice and negative body language can cause problems when dealing with other people, particularly customers and staff. However, using the wrong words can also make a difficult situation worse!

There are certain trigger words that cause people to become more difficult especially in emotionally charged situations and they should be avoided. They include:

Have to – as in – ‘You’ll have to speak to the sales department yourself’
I can’t or you can’t – as in – ‘I can’t do anything about that’ or ‘You can’t do that’
I’ll try – as in – ‘I’ll try and speak to finance department today’
But – as in – ‘I agree with what you’re saying but……..’
Sorry – as in – ‘I’m sorry ’bout that’

Have to, Don’t or Can’t are words that annoy people. They are inflammatory phrases that are best left out of any interactions, especially with difficult people.

Imagine how you feel when someone says to you:
‘You’ll have to phone a different number’
‘You’ll have to come back later’
‘I can’t help you with that’
‘I don’t have time to speak to you now’
‘You’ll have to get that finished today

‘
‘I need you to…’ This statement can come across as manipulative; it says to the other person – ‘I don’t care about you; I only care about what I need.’

Instead of the words ‘Have to’ or ‘I need you to,’ why not try – ‘Are you willing to…’ or just a straight ‘Will you….’

‘Can’t,’ can be replaced with – ‘I’m unable to because….’

The phrase ‘I’ll Try’ comes across as submissive. Some people hear these words as a commitment and expect you to do what you say. More often, people will hear it as something you probably won’t do.

‘I’ll try’ is very wishy-washy. It can be replaced with something more honest – ‘This is what I can do’ or ‘This is what I’m unable to do’

‘But…’ When you talk to difficult people, it’s a good idea to use the word ‘however’ instead of ‘but.’ When you substitute however, you’ll provide a smoother and more positive transition to new information, options or alternatives.

You could also use ‘and’ instead of ‘but.’ For example – ‘I understand your situation and the reason I’m unable to do what you ask is…’

Instead of saying ‘but,’ you could leave it out altogether. For example; instead of – ‘I agree with what you’re saying, but I can’t help you.’
Use – ‘I agree with what you’re saying. The reason I’m unable to help you is……’

Jargon – Any forms of jargon are best avoided. Every organisation has its jargon. When we use technical terms, buzz words or acronyms, the other person may not understand. They may also feel that you are talking down to them; this makes them feel patronised and uncomfortable.

Sorry is an overused word; everyone says it when something goes wrong and it’s lost its value. If you really need to use the sorry word; it’s far better to use it as part of a whole sentence – ‘I’m sorry your sleep was disturbed Mr. Fairweather; next time you visit us please ask for a quiet room and we’ll do our best to provide it.’

You will often hear someone saying – ‘Sorry to have kept you waiting.’
Far better to say – ‘Thank you for waiting Mr Brown, I now have the information you want.’

‘Calm down’ is something you should definitely avoid saying to a difficult person. It can have the totally opposite effect.

‘Its Company policy,’ is another phrase that can make a difficult situation worse. If you say to a customer – ‘I can’t help because its company policy’
They will interpret this as – ‘You’re just using this as an excuse not to help me.’

It’s far better to say what the company policy is – ‘I’m unable to help you, and the reason is – giving you the information you’ve asked for would be a security risk for both you and our company.’

At the end of the day the answer to a difficult person could be -’No.’ However, choosing your words more carefully will have a more positive affect on how he or she reacts and ultimately responds to you.

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Posted in Customer service, Difficult people, Leadership, Management, Motivation

How to Minimise the Management of Difficult People – Audio

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on April 30th, 2010 View Comments

This is the audio version of this article.

You can listen to it online or download it to your MP3 player.

Click here

Posted in Difficult people, Leadership, Management, Motivation

How To Manage Difficult People – New Seminar

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on April 13th, 2010 View Comments

Posted in Customer service, Difficult people, Leadership, Management, Motivation

Manage Difficult People Using the Magic of Rapport

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on February 11th, 2010 View Comments

If you want to be really good at managing difficult people, you need to learn and apply the magic of rapport. I say magic, because if you develop that skill, you will make your life so much easier.

At the time of writing this, I received a phone call from my friend John. He was telling me about a recent trip to the airport, taking his mother and father to their holiday flight. The check-in time was 6:20 AM and John and his parents arrived at 6 AM. John noticed two girls sitting behind the check-in desk having a chat. He approached one of the girls and asked if it would be possible to check the bags even although they were 20 minutes early. He received a curt ‘No’ and was told to print off a boarding pass at one of the machines.

This annoyed John, not so much because he couldn’t check in, but more about how he was spoken to. The girl at the check in desk had almost no rapport building skills. She possibly was unable to check John’s parents in, due to technical reasons, but these weren’t explained, it was a straight – ‘No.’

John, as the customer, is likely to interpret her response as a lack of willingness to be flexible and helpful. In a customer service situation, the answer often is – ‘No,’ however it’s how you say the word ‘No’ that matters.

This check-in clerk is setting herself up to receive lots of difficult customers.

In order to minimise the number of difficult people you have to deal with, or to improve your ability to manage them, you need to be good at building rapport. Rapport is not just about speaking to other people; it’s about listening and understanding how the other person sees the situation. It’s also about being able to empathise and appreciate how they feel.

There’s a story about three people taking a walk through a beautiful forest. One of them is an artist, the other a botanist and the third person works in the timber business. As they walk through the forest, the artist is thinking: ‘What a beautiful forest, look at those stunning views! I’d love to come back here some day and capture this scene in a picture.’

The botanist is walking through the forest with her nose to the ground, and she’s thinking: ‘I’ve never seen so many wonderful plants; I’d like to spend more time studying them.’

The guy who works in the timber business is examining every tree and thinking: ‘There are some wonderful woods growing here, I could chop this lot down and make a fortune.’

We all see the world in a different way; the person with good rapport skills understands this and thinks about it when communicating with other people. Good rapport building skills are about conveying to the other person that you see the world in the same way that they see it.

Extract from –

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Posted in Customer service, Difficult people, Leadership, Motivation, Sales

Don’t Take Chances With First Impressions

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on February 10th, 2010 View Comments

Are you aware of how quickly people will form an opinion about you?

A few years ago there was a television commercial for a major health insurance company. The strap line of this commercial was – You Are Amazing! It made the point that every human being is unique and totally different from any other on the planet. People are such wonderful, complex and complicated individuals. Our bodies are all constructed differently, and our minds, even more so!

When we meet and interact with other individuals we exchange all sorts of information. This is communicated by the words we use, our tone of voice and our body language. Research by psychologists suggests that we all make about eleven decisions about other people within two minutes of meeting them. We decide whether we like the other person, what their background is, how intelligent they are, how positive or negative, how successful, and other factors that are important to us as individuals. We tend to stick with these decisions until proved otherwise.

I read a report in the media, just before the Wimbledon tennis tournament in 2008. It was suggesting that many people didn’t want Andy Murray, the Scottish tennis player, to do well in the tournament. These people said that they didn’t like him, based on seeing him interviewed on TV or playing tennis. They felt he was too dour and lacked personality. Some people even suggested that he would be a difficult person to deal with.

This fast decision making process, based on very little information, and be it right or wrong, is one of our built in programs.

When our cavemen ancestors were wandering around, club in hand, in a hostile environment; they often came upon other cavemen and scary creatures. In order to survive, they had to make quick decisions – ‘Do I strike up a conversation with this other creature, do I make a run for it, or do I bash them with my club?

So, be very much aware; when someone meets you for the first time, or speaks to you on the phone; they are making several decisions about you, just as you are making decisions about them. They may even be deciding within seconds if you’re a difficult person, and of course, you may also come to the same decision.

At this point; you may be saying to your self – ‘That’s just too bad, because I am as I am; that’s my personality. I was born this way, I was brought up this way, and there’s not much I can do about it.’ Well there is!

Let me explain; this isn’t about your personality, it’s about behaviour and thoughts. Behaviour and thoughts are learned and they can be unlearned and replaced with something else.

More information in this new book -

Take charge of your behaviour and don’t take chances with your first impression.

Posted in Difficult people, Leadership, Motivation, Public speaking

Article in Straits Times Singapore

Posted by The Motivation Doctor on February 5th, 2010 View Comments

If you wnat to read this article full size; click this link

Posted in Leadership, Management, Motivation
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